Recipes for a Dirty Mind
Food and sex are inextricably linked. They’re both sensual experiences that we easily work up an appetite for, and often one leads to the other (romantic dinner, post-coital dessert). It seems only fitting that there would be a blog (www.cooktobang.com) dedicated solely to the art of food seduction. Cook to Bang is the main course of hedonist chef Spencer Walker’s dirty, albeit delicious mind, featuring a lengthy list of recipes, photos, and tips that thrust readers towards their ultimate goals: to cook and to have sex.
Spencer Walker figured he could benefit from wooing women with his culinary skills after he spent too much money taking women out for dinner. His bio states, “Cook to Bang is a service for celibate schmos.” That said, a few seconds of scrolling reveals that Cook to Bang is a decidedly male Web space. Though women are welcome to try out recipes, there is something essentially masculine about a garlic bread recipe called “Garlic (My Balls) Bread.” The fun of Cook to Bang is in its unabashed use of punny innuendos in recipe titles—trying, and often failing, to turn ordinarily tasty dishes into sexually charged ones. Highlights include “Tap that Ass-paragus Soup” and “Eggs Whorentine.” Many of the titles are so outrageous that you can’t help but groan at them. This, at least, is this case with “Rub Your Avocado Butt-er on My Grilled Salmon” and “Wrap That Hippie Burger Up Tight.” The recipes are photographed step by step, presenting the ingredients and finished dishes in a grimy, pornographic manner.
The site's testimonials speak very highly of Cook to Bang. Michael from Portland said, "That 'Flat on Your Back Flatbread Pizza' recipe cost me a short trip to Trader Joe's and a 3-pak of Trojans." Other testimonials are equally enthusiastic, though very tongue-in-cheek. It seems that few people genuinely believe that cooking good food will lure women into bed, but they are willing to go along with the joke.
Cook to Bang quickly scored Walker a book deal with St. Martin’s Press. Publishers Weekly deems it “Tyler Florence meets Tucker Max,” or an enticing marriage of domesticated masculinity and crude courtship.